Reflect on something I do today that old me never thought I’d be able to:

I am so into the idea of “reaching into the box”. I’m afraid we haven’t been as amazing as we can be as humans.

When I go to write, the spellchecker tells me that instead of saying “could”, it says it’s unconfident, to say something stronger, more declarative.

It burns my britches when I see things like this lurking in our phones and browsers, word processors, and the like. It’s the way we are trained to think in pre-prescribed structures that lock entire populations into invisible prisons.

My saving grace has always been a pull for freedom in all ways. I suppose I’ve had to learn an awful lot about prisons before attempting to unlock them. I’d do it again and again and again. I got what I wanted and it’s starting to happen: this lift out of the fog and the excitement for life, liberty and the pursuit of justice. Nothing sets fire to my heart more and not so long ago, I couldn’t have said what hills I might die on but I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I feel so thrilled and I am happy to keep working on things I’m supposed to. I am committed. I just happen to fall down a lot.

I was listening to The Cure yesterday for the first time in many years – I really loved the Disintegration album when I was 12 and would listen to the CD on repeat. I have a lot of reading and reorganizing in my life. I’d love to manifest a way to have all of my things with me, and some way that feels RIGHT to work on a social justice board in Santa Fe, but I really have my eye on the Mayors’ Commission on Disability. I can’t wait to finish up my tasks today – it’s nearly hard to focus on one thing at a time, and all these thoughts are swirling around my head. I do believe I need to ease into A LOT more writing. Thrilled!!!

Some of the magick afoot has my heart beating wildly and the colors are starting to look brighter again. I’m so glad today to be able to experience sight the ways I do without outright freezing up or running away.

I want to see my friend so bad. I’m through, I think, with the idea that I might “fall apart” if I see them. After the past several days, I know everything is fine but I want to hang out now. It’s always so fun. I also feel sort of useless in some ways, at least until my pocket is full to some degree. I detest going out with anyone without the capability of paying. It’s far too distracting, and at this age, I’m still pretty embarrassed about some attitude I’ve had in the past with everyone I know. I’m hoping we’ll just run into each other because I feel completely incapable of starting any conversation nowadays unless I absolutely have to. Oh, the shenanigans! Then again, what fun!

I love being fascinated and entertained, and love to be entertaining. I’m leaning so hard into getting back into a much more solid state of existence, including my meatsuit spaceship. What a gift! I think it’s time, and started yoga back up again today! I have a renewed sense of adventure for managing money better and learning more interesting vegan recipes on a budget, and in a dorm room with no kitchen.